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U of I unveils plans for $4 million monument to laid-off employees

In a spirit of humble solidarity with the hundreds of workers that have been laid off as part of the recent economic downturn and subsequent budget crunch, the University of Illinois today revealed their plan to construct a monument to those who have lost their jobs.

The marble and granite structure, to be titled “Solidarity,” will be erected at 510 E. Armory Ave. on the grounds of the School of Labor and Employment Relations. Chancellor Richard Herman explained the significance of the statue. “It depicts the benevolent hand of authority gently guiding its brother-worker on a path of greater prosperity and freedom,” Herman said. “There is no better way to exemplify the spirit of cooperation that exists at this university of higher learning.”

Harold Jenkins, whose janitorial position was recently eliminated, agreed with Herman’s assessment of the statue’s symbolic meaning. “That looks about right to me,” he said.

Happy April Fool’s Day from Smile Politely.

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