Smile Politely

Three Illini effed

Three Illini athletes will not likely attain All-American status, following their arrests, felony charges and suspensions.

Vanier Joseph, Justin Boone and Shujaa Benson were members of the track & field team until this morning. Now, each faces the prospect of 4 to 15 years in prison, the mandatory sentence for residential burglary.

The three are suspects in a number of dormitory burglaries. Last night, one of their victims woke up to find the three horking bills from his wallet (allegedly).

University Police responded, and reported finding stolen property on Boone (including cash, which is not easily identified as stolen property).

Disturbingly, the University’s police spokesman divulged that a “foot chase” took place. This writer is either hopeful re: the fitness of our local constabulary, or depressed re: the track team.


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