Smile Politely

Why Stop At Creationism?

We’re in trouble. Our country is falling behind in science and it’s time to take some immediate and drastic action before the U.S. becomes the global classroom equivalent of Home Economics.

Perhaps the problem is that we have been too narrow in our definition of what science actually is. For example, the creationists have been telling us for a long time that the well-thought-out and researched theories of evolution are no match for the mythologies of the Judeo-Christian traditions. Perhaps they are on to something. After all, they’ve written books and in so doing have helped us to see that books are no longer the domain of well-done, peer-reviewed, scholarly research. The creationists have also opened a Creation Museum thus showing us that museums are no longer a place where scholarly research can be disseminated to the common person.

And of course, the Creationists have long been trying to get mythology-as-science into our public schools.

But if mythology is the solution to our science woes, then why stop at Creationism? Maybe the time has come to open the floodgate for all mythologies into the science classroom.

I can envision a glorious new United States that excels in science because our students will be taught not just human anatomy, but the anatomies of Minotaurs, Leprechauns, and other species that were previously neglected simply because we couldn’t prove that they existed. Our students may not be able to find a cure for cancer in humans, but maybe they will be successful in treating Unicorns.

And our students would have a much more well-rounded education if, in addition to the traditional agricultural sciences, we taught them rain dances and fertility spells. Crop yields would be at an all-time high and we could feed not just our own country but the rest of the world.

The U.S. can be first in the world again. We can accomplish this not as we have in the recent past by attacking countries without provocation, but by allowing mythology in all of its rich and varied splendor to work its magic in our science classrooms.

Then, as the rest of the world flounders with its narrow-minded research in genetics and physics, as they waste their time exploring space, learning more about the universe and discovering new forms of energy, we can rest on top of the world with our dreams of Sugar Plum Fairies.

Related Articles