Smile Politely

The real Axe market

I’ve always wondered who buys Axe. The ads for the body deodorant don’t just subtly suggest that women will love you if you buy their product. They go for a more direct approach: If you buy Axe, thousands of scantily-clad, beautiful women will run you down to have their way with you.

Sure, the commercials are funny, in an offensive, sexist sort of way. But who would fall for this kind of advertising? Certainly no one with any experience with actual women.

Of course, that describes a decent percentage of young males. And once you throw skateboarding into the mix, it becomes obvious who they are marketing to: 11 year-old boys.

A product that makes you irresistible to the ladies and helps you with impossible skateboard moves? My son was sold on the spot. He bought some with his hard-earned allowance money. Not only does he love his Axe, but he is of the opinion that if something is good, more of it is better.

So, in addition to spraying it all over his body, he has also been known to use it:

  • On his clothes, as a substitute for washing them
  • On his bedsheets, as a substitute for taking a bath before bed.
  • Directly at his sisters, as a weapon when they annoy him.

The last bit seems counter-productive if girls love Axe so much that they will run you down on a beach to make out with you. But, like all boys everywhere, he does not consider his sisters to be girls.

So, I’m impressed that Axe has found a natural market. I’m just sad that my son’s room now smells even worse than 11 year-old boy.

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