Smile Politely

Fat Sandwich well beyond good taste

Think of your favorite appetizer. Is it chicken strips, or maybe mozzarella sticks, could it be onion rings, or maybe even mac n cheese bites? Now take all of those, slap a burger with it, and put it on a bun. That in a nutshell is Fat Sandwich Company.

With an editor on my tail for an article and an empty stomach, the roommate and I decided to venture down to campus and try something new. Secluded just one block south of green next to Insomnia Cookies is Fat Sandwich Company. Only coming to this campus in the last year and being only the third in the nation (Madison, Wisconsin & Norman, Oklahoma) it automatically can distinguish itself as unique. But that is definitely not the only thing.

One could spend an endless amount of time reveling in awe at what they call a menu. I could spend days writing about how each sandwich on their menu is a slight against any health study ever published, ever. I have a word limit so I am going to just try and hit the highlights.

The Fat Milf (yes, that is the name of the sandwich) consists of a cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, bacon (because at this point, why not?), mayo, and ketchup. I’ll go into more depth about this sandwich later since it becomes my choice for dinner. The Fat Tailgate consists of a cheeseburger, mini corndogs, ketchup and mustard (what, no skittles?). The last one I’ll mention is the Fat Sorostitute (Sorority + Prostitute). This sandwich consists of buffalo chicken bites, mozzarella sticks, jalapeño poppers, and ranch dressing.

There are 23 sandwiches and each one is pretty much as offensive as the three listed above. Worth noting is that half of the sandwiches have mozz sticks on them, why? Besides sandwiches, FSC also offers six designs of burgers, seven kinds of cheesesteaks, seven kinds of wraps, a few salads and a multitude of drinks. Included in said multitude is six and twelve packs of beer, and don’t forget the cigarettes and Philly blunts because they have those too. By my count they are only lacking one of the seven deadly sins.

When it came time to order The Roommate decided to make a wise choice and went with the turkey club wrap, and I chose the Fat Milf. When ordering the wrap the cashier actually asked if we wanted to add mozzarella sticks to it, we laughed but he didn’t. The turkey on the wrap was fried, but all in all it was pretty delightful. As for my sandwich (above), well, the picture pretty much says it all. Yes, those are the fries it comes with, and yes, they are part of the sandwich.

While eating you have to sit in wonder at who would actually choose to eat here more than once. But the location is prime, right between fifth and sixth on john; you have to pass it if you’re walking home from the bars. You also have to admit that after many beers or “blunts,” it would probably sound pretty good. No worries if you are lacking a way to the restaurant, just phone in your order and one of their delivery drivers will hop on their pale horse and bring it to you.

My opinion at this point is pointless. With its prime location and no sandwich over $7.25, it is sure to be around for a long time.

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