Smile Politely

Weekender: Oct. 7—9


Lewis Black at Assembly Hall, 7:30 p.m., $45 and down

Well, we tried to get an interview with him but his people never bothered to respond. I’m not saying that makes me bitter and not want to go. You decide for yourselves. Well, you know, maybe it does make me angry. But that’s what he would have wanted all along. (JS)



God of Carnage at the Station Theatre, 8 p.m. Fri/Sat/Sun, $15 Fri/Sat, $10 Sun

A conflict between two children at a public park devolves into a conflict between the parents of the parties.

Hoodoo Love at Krannert Center, 7:30 p.m. Fri/Sat, 3 p.m. Sun, $16 and down

Jonathan Keeble, Flute at Krannert Center, 7:30 p.m., $10 and down

The Guard at the Art Theater, Fri 5:15 & 7:30 p.m., Sat/Sun w/ 3 p.m. show also, $6.50 before 6 p.m. & $9 afterwards

Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson (In Bruges, Braveheart) star in a classic cop comedy. Cheadle plays the straight-laced FBI man and Gleeson plays the eccentric Irishman who most likely doesn’t do things by the book. Hey, it’s worked for a whole host of fims already so maybe it will hold up with this one. (JS)

Digital Tape Machine with OHMphrey, 8:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.

The Canopy Club

Recently, Mack Glass, a recycled arts group, lost their warehouse and equipment to a building accident. Canopy Club is a supporter of Summer Camp Music Festival, and will be hosting a raffle for a pair of Festival 2012, 3-day passes to benefit Mack Glass.

Doors: 8:00 p.m.
Show: 9:00 p.m.
Age: 18+
Cost: $12, in advance (Canopy Club, Manolo’s Pizza and Empanadas, Exile on Main Street, by phone at 1-800-514-ETIX, or (TN)

Nakatini Gong Orchestra at University YMCA, 8:00 p.m., free

Five people. Ten gongs. Members of Duke of Uke, Marathon, and Nu-Orbit Ensemble. Mind-altering substances recommended. (BV)

Mike & Kayla at JT’s, 9:30 p.m.–12:30 a.m.

JT Walker’s Restaurant & Sports Bar

No cover.

Mike & Kayla should win an award for best Facebook Event Page Photos. (TN)




Open Gym Volleyball

Time: 5:30-8:30 p.m.

Location: Champaign County Brookens Administrative Center on 1776 E. Washington St.,


Cost: $1

A photo ID is required for admission. Games of volleyball will be played in the Brookens Gymnasium. (AR)


Observatory Open House

Time: 8–10 p.m.

Location: University of Illinois Observatory on the south of the Quad near the Morrow Plots

The first Friday of every month will be the Observatory Open House, where guests can use the historic telescope to look at the night sky. The event is hosted by the Astronomical Society at the University of Illinois. (AR)


A Streetcar Named Desire

Time: Friday and Saturday, 8–10 p.m.

Location: Gregory Hall Theatre on 810 S. Wright St., Urbana

Cost: $5 on the Quad/$7 at the door

The Penny Dreadful Players will perform the play “A Streetcar Named Desire” at 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights. The play is about Blanche Du Bois, a woman who ignores reality due to romantic illusions. The pressures brought about by her sister and her sister’s husband after she goes to live with them in New Orleans lead her to a realization of her delusions, and to madness. (AR)



Breast Cancer Awareness bicycle ride at Champaign Cycle, 10 a.m., $25 donation

Urbana’s Annual International Beer Tasting and Chili Cook-off at Downtown Urbana, 3 to 8 p.m., $5 advance

The Exorcist at the Virginia Theatre, 1 & 7 p.m., $5

The Dying Breed at UC-IMC, 8 p.m., Free?

The Titanic Players SHOCKTOBER!, 8:00–10:00 p.m.

Courtyard Cafe Illini Union

Titanic Players Team Quest for the Swivel Hip and PK BARNJAM presenting long form improv comedy for your enjoyment.

Ed. Note: I have no idea what the above means, but I’m assuming that the Titanic Players Team Quest do. Have fun! (TN)

$2 Students
$3 Public

Your Bathroom, Noon until forever p.m., Way more money than you ever thought something like this could possibly cost

For months that bathroom has been staring you in the face, laughing at your inability to accomplish anything. First you ripped out the geriatric sit-down shower and that felt great. You took a sledgehammer and felt the power as the tile shattered into a hundred pieces, releasing those sweet carcinogens into your lungs. You are weak; your hands are made for typing — but that day you were a man. After that sweet joy, you suddenly realized that you had to put it all back together. So you attempted to work with your father-in-law to frame the room, take out the old laundry chute, etc. But you’re not gifted in the blue collar arts — not with the brand of patience that develops from twelve years on the internet. So you hired a guy to come do the floor and finish framing. Well, next came drywall — that’s pretty simple. They do that on HGTV in like four seconds. However, it turns out when your wife has a baby things fall off the rails a little bit. So you hired a guy to do the drywall. And that was like three months ago. Ever since, the bathroom has been half done — a toilet and a tub without a sink. Guests come over and joke with you about how it’s never going to get done, and you hear what they are really saying: You are not a man. You have let your family down. You are lazy. You are ugly.

But this weekend it all changes. You’re going to finish it. By Monday you’ll have a new bathroom and everyone will talk about what a great job you did. Of course, you won’t have done anything. Your wife and your father-in-law are going to tile. If you did it, you’d only get like four pieces of tile on the ground. Then you’d scream about how annoying it all is, throw the towel rack at the bathtub and run upstairs to watch old episodes of Hunter. There would be fights and divorces and nobody wants that. And someone else will install the sink; possibly the plumber who has already charged you so many thousands of dollars. So the bathroom will be done, by God. You, of course, will be watching the kids. But it will be done. (JStein)

We’re supposed to include pictures of the events we discuss, John. (TN)


New Ruins CD Release Show, 9:00 p.m.–12:00 a.m.

Cowboy Monkey

Cover: $7

New Ruins will be releasing their 4th full length, This Life Is Not Ours to Keep on Matt Talbott’s, Earth Analog Records.

Joining them for the evening will be locals Alpha Mile and Psychic Twin. (TN)

Seriously, I cannot stress how much you need to go to this show. (BV)


Buddy Walk

Time: 9:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m.

Location: Champaign County Fairgrounds on Coler Avenue and Fairview Avenue, Urbana

The Champaign County Down Syndrome Network will host its seventh annual buddy walk. The purpose of the fundraiser is to create awareness and acceptance of people with Down syndrome through creating an environment where people can interact socially with individuals with the disability in a fun setting. Just a few of the event’s attractions include carnival games, a petting zoo, face painting, a mini golf course, raffle prizes and live entertainment. The walk will begin at noon. (AR)


Urbana-Champaign Comic Book Convention at Eastland Suites, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Free


Papadosio, 8:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.

Canopy Club

Papadosio, performing with The Coop

Doors: 8:00 p.m.
Show: 9:00 p.m.
Age: 18+
Cost: $7 in advance (Canopy Club, Manolo’s Pizza and Empanadas, Exile on Main Street, by phone at 1-800-514-ETIX, or (TN)

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