Smile Politely

Weekender: May 25–28


Summer Camp Music Festival; Primus: 10:30 p.m., Chillicothe, Ill.

Don’t any of my pretentious hipster friends want to drive with me to Chillicothe to see Primus? I mean, c’mon, now? It’s PRIMUS! Les Claypool’s old ass can still get it on, and with Larry LaLonde on the axe, you know they are going to bust out a bunch of hits from Sailing the Seas of Cheese and maybe even a cover or two from Miscellaneous Debris. What’s that? No? You can’t go? Or you don’t want to go? Yes, yes, I realize that it’s a festival of dirty, smelly trustafarians with little ambition other than to bridge the gap between noodle jams and weak Dubstep drops, but seriously! It’s Primus!

What’s that? You say Primus doesn’t rule?! You say they are washed up? Psssshaw! I disagree my friends. I say they still bring it. And I will wade through that mess of hippie scum to see them, sleep in the car, and deal with the repercussions at a later date. Fuck it. I’m going. (SF)

Psychic Joker & C-U Confidential present Time Traveling Cinema, 10:00 p.m.–1:30 a.m.

SoDo Theatre
Cost: $5

On the last Friday of every month, C-U Confidential’s Jason Pankoke and Psychic Joker screens an “eclectic collection of movies from a by-gone era.” This month, the main event is two new episodes of Ed Glaser’s Ninja the Mission Force. Jason Pankoke will be showing some local cinema, and Psychic Joker will bring some movies about magic, including a short piece produced by Thomas Edison, some lost film footage starring Harry Houdini, and Vincent Price in The Mad Magician. This sounds like a pretty damn amazing great time. (TN)

The Mad Magician trailer:



C-U Flea at Parasol Records Building in Urbana, Noon to 5 p.m., Free

This Saturday, the Parasol space in Urbana is being reborn as a little-engine-that-could flee market. There’ll be knick knacks and cool hand-made stuff made by people from around C-U. People just like you and me! Except that they are actually good at doing things. There’ll also be food, bands, and you can BYOB. Anyway, I’m not sure about the Parasol air-conditioning situation, but if it’s 96 degrees and they don’t have it, you should still go and support people who are making and doing cool things. A little sweat never hurt anyone. (JAS)

ROCKS!! at My House! All day, all night. Everything must go! Free.

So my backyard was full of rocks and then one day I said to myself, “It’s really kind of dumb that my backyard is full of rocks.” So I borrowed the neighbors wheelbarrow and started moving rocks. But the thing about me is that I generally don’t have a plan when I start these things. And now I’ve got a mud pit for a backyard and several big piles of rocks spread throughout my property. But whatever, it’s my problem, not yours. The good news for you is that most of the rocks are now by the street for you to carry away from my yard. Make no mistake, these are not the rocks for the upper crust of C-U who want fancy big rocks or paving stones for their new patio. These are rocks for the working man. They will look good around your potato garden, on your new path to the meth shed, or over that dead body you can’t seem to keep buried.

So if you want some river rocks, email me. I will tell you where they are. This picture does not do justice to how many rocks there are. First come, first rocks. (JAS)

Evil Tents, Common Loon, Psychic Twin, Brief Candles, Fahri at The Highdive, 9 p.m., $7

We’ve been beating this drum pretty hard this week, but isn’t that what we do? This is a must-see this weekend as far as shows go. Five bands on one bill is enough to get you going. If you don’t care for one or two of the bands, you still have three others to enjoy, It’s a win-win as far as I’m concerned. Head over there and if you’re ever so inclined, pick up a physical copy of their new record Night Air on the Midway. You’ll enjoy it. (PS)

At least one of these bands is guaranteed to give you an extended version of the post poop shivers. (JAS)


Emerald City DIVAS presents Heat Wave, 10:45 p.m.–2:00 a.m., $5

Emerald City Lounge

If you’ve not yet been to a drag show at Emerald City, you’re missing out. These women are fabulous. Join the Divas of Emerald City Lounge, Leiloni Stars and Aurora Lamont-Carrington, as they welcome Sorraya Dash — the current reigning Miss Roscoe’s 2012 — for her debut appearance!

You can reserve a table (which will include cover) by emailing Leiloni Stars. (TN)


And here’s Leiloni in all her glory.


Go get wet, all day, free–$33.30.

It looks like summer has decided to rear its fire just a wee bit ahead of schedule this year. So whether you are a fan of the urine soaked shores of the local swimming establishments or prefer to slide on your water wings for a frolic through you or your neighbor’s sprinklers, you better pencil in some cool down time. If the boy bands taught us anything, 98 degrees is nothing to laugh at. Heck, you can even go to the red store or the blue store for a box of Otter Pops and a kiddie pool like the one pictured (photoshopped children not included). Stay cool folks. (CC)


DJ Belly, DJ Delayney, DJ Legtwo at Cowboy Monkey, 9 p.m., $2

Well, you know you won’t have work on Monday so you might as well let your dancing carry over all the way until the wee hours of Sunday night. Cowboy Monkey will be hosting three DJs for their HIT IT RUN event. Expect some old school hip-hop, soul, funk, and reggae, as well as plenty of booty shakin’ on the day of rest. (CC)



Drag King Show, 11:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.

Chester Street Bar
Cover: $4.00 ($10 for table)

If you’ve not yet experienced a drag show at Chester Street Bar, you’re missing out. C-Street hosts drag shows every Sunday, with different performers every week. The first Sunday of every month is Open Talent Night, hosted by Ceduxion Carrington, so anyone who wants to sing, dance, or give drag a try can compete for a cash prize.

Sunday’s show is a King show starring Hugh Jazz, and featuring:

If you’re unfamiliar with drag kings, check out this article. It’ll tell you pretty much everything you need to know. (TN)

You can also check out Hugh Jazz in all his glory here:



Smoke a pork shoulder, smoke a beef brisket, all day (literally)

It’s a true day off in America, for most people, anyhow. You should totally acknowledge the day for what it is: a chance to honor those who have fallen at times of war. Most of us likely know someone directly or indirectly who has passed away or who have suffered from the struggles of war. So, do yourself a favor, and honor them. Say thank you; say a small prayer; do your thing.

But, it’s still a day off! And you should celebrate that, and the SUPER warm weather by eating food that takes hours and hours to prepare, but with little effort. Smoked meat — true BBQ — is the stuff of gods, and anyone can do it, even if you don’t have a smoker. Any old charcoal grill will do.

Here’s how:

  1. Get a pork shoulder or a beef brisket from the Market on Saturday. Any of the vendors will do, but I recommend Moore Family Farms or Triple S Meats. Both work with well raised animals, pasture-fed, that are treated humanely.
  2. Make sure it’s fully thawed in the fridge or in the sink for a day. Once it is, unwrap it and pat it down thoroughly with paper towels.
  3. Make a spice rub and coat that sumbitch nice and good. Any spice rub works, but generally, you can take two parts paprika, and one part brown sugar, one part garlic powder, one part mustard powder, one part onion powder, one part kosher salt, one part course ground black pepper, one part … etc. etc. etc. … just get creative.
  4. Wrap it in plastic wrap and let it work its way through over night.
  5. In the morning, and I mean in the MORNING, before the sun is up, get out to your grill and light a nice big mound of charcoal and let it ready itself. Pile it up on one half of your grill and put in a good couple hunks of hardwood. Mesquite, hickory — sure. Applewood is great, and honestly, so is oak. I use oak. Oak is good. Definitely.
  6. Once the wood starts smoking, put that piece of meat down on the opposite side of the grill so that there is literally NO direct heat whatsoever. Really make sure of that. Cover it, and let it start to smoke.
  7. For a brisket, you are looking at 12 hours at a minimum. I let mine go for 16 hours, so that the crust is black by the time it’s ready to serve. A pork shoulder is at least 8–10 hours, but you can let it go longer, provided that the heat is low. A good method to follow is this as well: once the meat is thoroughly smoked through (6–8 hours or so), you can easily remove it from the grill, put it in the oven at 200 degrees, and cover it in foil. Let it do its thing.
  8. You should totally drink a bloody mary or gin and tonic while this is happening and read a book, play with the kids, watch your friends mess around.
  9. Dinner time. For a pork shoulder, you’ll know it is done if that shoulder bone just slides right out with nary a piece of meat stuck to it. It should just fall apart, and be easy to “pull” apart. Hence, pulled pork. For the brisket, slice it against the grain, and serve it up hot, with a thin sauce or not. The flavors should be there one way or the other.
  10. Have friends bring sides to eat. If you have a basketball hoop, shoot some HORSE, and lose. Again. (SF)


Memorial Day Bash at Carmon’s Bistro with The Dirty Feathers, Grandkids, 4–8 p.m., spend as much money as you want to get great food and Stag from a keg on your day off

Grandkids at 6 p.m., The Dirty Feathers at 7 p.m. outside at Carmon’s on Monday night for Memorial Day, and I’m just hoping this pig roast actually does happen like they’ve said on the Facebook event. Outside of that, they’re offering some pretty great appetizers and sandwiches (on pretzel buns, does anywhere else serve sandwiches on pretzel buns in this town? I honestly don’t know and would like to know). Here’s the menu they are offering as of this moment (again, pay attention to the event page about the pig):

  • Appetizers: Potato chips (Mustard truffle dust) – $4; Chips and salsa (Corn tortillas/salsa) – $6; Grilled chicken wings – $7.
  • Sandwiches (all served on pretzel buns with chips): Grilled portobello (Pickled green garlic/Bibb lettuce/hominy purée/balsamic glaze) – $9; Pork sausage (Bacon/pickled jalapeño/arugula/strawberry rhubarb BBQ) – $12; Hamburger (Goat cheese/sugar snap pea slaw/mustard dressing) – $13 (PS)

All event information is accurate to the best of our abilities, but sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes event information, times, prices, etc., change after we look them up. Whenever possible, we’ve provided a link to the original event page; you should always double-check the source before you make any firm plans. Thanks for your understanding.

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