Smile Politely

Weekender: May 18–20


Hit 9; Hit 18; any golf course around these parts

On Friday May 18, it will be 85 degrees and sunny. So, knock off work a little early and head for the links and try your best to not embarrass yourself. Fact is, I’ve only really been golfing for a couple years now. I grew up swinging a different kind of club, one with a much bigger area to hit a much bigger ball. Of course, it was being thrown at me at high speeds and with the chance of nose diving before it got to me, but as a result, I’ve been able to pick up the game with some decency.

I’ve now golfed on every course in the immediate area, including all three country clubs, as a result of having a few friends that take their game WAY more seriously than I do. And if you are discussing public courses, the conversation begins and ends with Stone Creek, as the bent grass and open fairways and endless sand traps makes for a challenging course. But I am partial to Lake of the Woods out by Mahomet. The greens aren’t quite as nice, and the fairways could use work, but the setting out there is totally idyllic. Nary a round goes by without seeing a family of deer trotting by; birds chirp throughout the day; it’s really a beauty of a course.

Today, I’ll be golfing with Mayor Don Gerard, City Councilman Kyle Harrison, and the Diner King of Champaign, Tony Pomonis at this very location. It’s a charity outing for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and I think it’s a great cause. But honestly, I’d use any chance I can get to be outside, drink a few beers before 5 p.m. and attempt to birdie a hole on the rare occasion I hit two perfect shots that sits me around five feet from the cup. I should be able to sink that putt. It’s not likely, but it’s possible…

Don’t Eat at the Crave Truck in Champaign, the foreseeable future

If you’re like me, you like to have yourself a nice little cocktail from time to time. And if you’re like me, “a nice little cocktail” and “from time to time” mean a “whole bunch of whiskey and beer” and “every night,” respectively. Anyway, this weekend, if you notice after you’re already ten beers in that you forgot to eat dinner, and the only thing keeping you from filling your hands with your own vomit is a deliciously prepared waffle from The Crave Truck, well, you can go fuck yourself thanks to the city’s most recent interest in obscure ordinances. So now, until further notice, The Crave Truck is out of commission [except that they’ll be at the Urbana Farmer’s Market on Saturdays]. Of course, it’s hard to say which wheel started squeaking in order to get our trusted and otherwise business friendly public officials to pay attention to this very pressing matter, but suffice it to say, for the time being you’re stuck with the remaining non-mobile food purveyors until the city decides to start incentivizing entrepreneurship. (CDC)

Two Beers with Dylan Heath – Bigger and Better, 6:00 p.m.

Mike ‘N Molly’s
Cover: $3

The show will include:

  • Geoff Merritt from Parasol Records and That’s Rentertainment
  • Local comedian Jesse Tuttle
  • Musical guests: DeathTram
  • and a short from Two Beards

Two Beers is one of the best ideas that two guys with beards have had in C-U for a long while. (TN)

Watch lllinois baseball take on Minnesota at Illinois Field, first pitch 6:05 p.m. 

If you’re not on the links into the later hours of the night, head over to Illinois Field to catch a game as the Illini make their final push for the Big Ten Tournament. The first game of the series was Thursday, so you could catch this one as the Illini face off against a freshman Minnesota pitcher. Go heckle this kid towards an Illinois victory. (PS)



Yellow Bird Yard Sale at 802 S. Race St., 8 a.m.–2 p.m.

Stop by this yard sale and check out the selection of books, furniture, DVDs, vinyl, a guitar, a camera, CDs, art supplies, clothing, suits and ties, and more free stuff than you can shake a stick at. (JS)


Walk or drive around in Campustown, anytime 

Now that the first weekend without the majority of students is upon us, you might be able to make your way around campus in a reasonable time. Graduation was last weekend, so maybe you can finally drive your car down Green Street in less than 20 minutes! Yes, some students are still around, but most aren’t, so get out there and show the students that aren’t there what you’re made of. (PS)

Amasong Spring Concert: Passages, May 19, 7:30–9:30 p.m. | May 20, 4:00–6:00 p.m.

McKinley Presbyterian Church
Suggested donation: $15–25 (more if you can, less if you can’t)

Info. for Saturday’s show
Info. for Sunday’s show

Passages is a concert that explores themes of change, transience and transformation that features devotional songs to the Sacred Feminine from Africa and medieval Europe, contemporary compositions by American women, and folk music from South India to the Bahamas to the Republic of Georgia.

If you’ve never been to an Amasong concert, I really recommend you do so. These women are incredibly talented. They put on beautiful shows. You’ll seriously leave a better person without even trying. (TN)

The Dirty Feathers, Dastardly, The Shams Band8:30 p.m. at Cowboy Monkey 

The Dirty Feathers are bringing their raucous live show back to Champaign after some time away. Should be a great pairing with Dastardly who play a jangly rock out with your country twang out kind of set. I have a feeling this one may start late and end even later but you should show up early for some tex-mex and a cold one on the ever-popular patio. (CC)


Jensen Beach’s Book Release, Quality, 7 p.m., FREE

Local author, S&B collaborator, total badass Jensen Beach just got a shitload of books with his name on them in the mail and he’d like to celebrate this fact with you at Quality on Saturday night alongside two of his bestest friends, Chad Simpson and Eugene Cross. Each of these guys are COMPLETE FUCKING BADASSES who are respectively making a significant mark as emerging fiction writers. It won’t be long until you start hearing their names in polite circles, so unless you have some really good goddamn excuse, get your shit together and come on out to Quality. Oh, and don’t forget to buy a book, either. (CDC)



Eat a Korean feast at B-Won; open hours until 9 p.m.

The end of the weekend is painful. The impending doom of Monday is in clear site, and there is little left to do except watch the clock tick away towards bed time. And that should be excuse enough to go indulge in one of the better restaurants that C-U has to offer as a way of cheering yourself up. My choice for Sunday supper, when I am not cooking, is invariably B-Won, the Korean restaurant on Neil St. that sits next to Old Time Meats and Green Onion grocery.

Aside from the fact that you can get a massive portion of expertly cooked cuisine at a very decent price, the real kicker about this place is the starter salads that come complimentary with every meal, served family style. Variations of kim chi, a traditional fermented cabbage salad, are served with reckless abandon. The bean sprouts, marinated in soy and garlic are crisp and toothsome. The daikon radish in its spicy sauce is simply perfect. Add that with the mixed rice and hot tea and the miso soup, and you’ve truly got a feast that will only set you back about $15 or less.

Totally great way to end the weekend. (SF)

The Beards of ComedyIron Post, 8:00 p.m. $8 

It seems that comedy is making a bit of a comeback around these parts and that should bring a smile to your face immediately. Go get your laugh on with some up-and-coming comedy goofballs in downtown Urbana on Sunday evening. The Beards are comprised of: Andy Sandford (voted “Best Atlanta Comedian” by Creative Loafing, CMT’s “Next Big Comic” Top 12 Finalist), Joe Zimmerman (nominated by Rooftop Comedy for the Golden Shingle Award — given to the most outstanding rising star in comedy), TJ Young (winner of multiple festival awards, Comedy Death Ray), and Dave Stone (’s 2010 “Silver Nail Award” winner, voice actor for “Squidbillies”). These dudes are from the south, but they sure as hell aren’t Jeff Foxworthy and friends. Should be a dandy. (CC)

Help Me Build My Patio, 9:00 a.m.–Noonish…

Basically, all I need you to do is lend me your truck so I don’t have to stack the rest of the pavers I need to buy in the back of my Prius again, but it would also be nice if you could help me split those six inch pavers in half so’s I can make my edges even. And hell, while you’re at it, could you take a second look at my leveling sand? I’m pretty sure I’ve got her even, according to the level at least, but it just isn’t passing the eyeball test, you know what I mean? And shit, honestly, I’ve been thinking of putting in a retaining wall right there that’ll run flush with the patio so that when I’m grilling out I can put platters and whatnot on it. Also, I think it’ll look nice. Of course, we’ll need to take your truck up to that big old goddamn lawn and garden place again, if you don’t mind. Oh, and also, we’ll need more sand and gravel to set it in, but I prefer to get that from True Value or Do it Best because their locally owned. Shouldn’t take too much longer. (CDC)

All event information is accurate to the best of our abilities, but sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes event information, times, prices, etc., change after we look them up. Whenever possible, we’ve provided a link to the original event page; you should always double-check the source before you make any firm plans. Thanks for your understanding.


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