Smile Politely

A night of comedy at Iron Post

As if Saturday didn’t already have plenty of excellent events competing for your time, there’s a night of standup comedy at Iron Post as well. Beginning at 10 p.m. and asking a $4 cover, the show features Andrew Voris (right), as well as Billi Casey and Drift Roberts of Peoria, Kyle Scanlan of Carbondale, and local comics Mikel Matthews Jr., Jesse & Justin Tuttle, and Jason Dockins.

“It’s great to be in a community that has enthusiasm for live shows–whether it is music, comedy, or anything else,” said Voris. “I’ve recently been through major U.S. cities that do not have a comedy scene–where clubs have closed and no clear underground thing happening.”

In order to get to know four of the comics (Voris, Roberts, Matthews, and Scanlan) a little bit, I asked them a few questions by the wonder of email, and their answers are below.

Smile Politely: So, do each of you want to introduce yourselves? Maybe a quick joke or one-liner?

Andrew Voris: Hello. I’m Andrew Voris. And if you can correctly guess my racial and ethnic background, I’ll mouth kiss you and your friends.

Drift Roberts (right): My name is Drift Roberts, and I’m a nineteen-year-old comic from Peoria, IL. I’ve been performing for over two years, I’m a high school drop-out, and I have absolutely no plan B whatsoever. My girlfriend quit Facebook, which means I don’t know when her birthday is.

Mikel Matthews: [I’m a] big theatre person who comes from a heavy improv and physical comedy background.  I direct quite a bit and perform improv weekly in town.

 

Smile Politely: What’s the biggest misconception about stand-up comedy?

Andrew Voris: That getting into stand-up is a surefire way to meet and sleep with Elizabeth Taylor. I was so naïve.

Drift Roberts: One of the biggest misconceptions about comedy is probably about how difficult it is to come up with material. It’s a long, hard process. Some people actually think its okay to tell other people’s material onstage. I think that public attitude is going away gradually though, as well as with comics using hackneyed premises. I think that while the comedy boom of the 1980’s/1990’s is long over, we’re on the epoch of another huge popularity explosion in comedy, except this one is creatively-driven and aided by the Internet instead of by money-motivated comedy club chains that didn’t really care about the art-form in the first place.

Kyle Scanlan: The biggest misconception about stand up comedy is that it’s easy.  That literally anyone could do it.  That is false.  I have to wake up everyday before 1p.m. and so that I can write and practice jokes about my penis, and yet still have time to get a buzz before I go on stage.  Do you realize how challenging that is a day to day basis (sometimes skipping days of course…. with comedy, not drinking).

Mikel Matthews: That friend you have who is “the funniest guy you know” probably won’t be good at it. He might be, but it’s a different set of skills.


Smile Politely: Who’s your hero from a comedic standpoint?

Andrew Voris: Harpo Marx. He was brilliant. The comedy in his wordless performances runs circles around the most of us who bother messing with spoken language. Hunter S. Thompson still makes me laugh more than any other writer. While his work goes in many directions besides humor, his comedic instinct was powerful, and, I think, has shaped America’s popular culture in more — and thankfully better — ways than we’re fully aware. I would sleep with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Bill Maher-only because I would hope that in the act of coitus I could steal their powers. And Bill Maher would probably have a couple 19-year-old pinup girls clinging to him, which would help make the whole act less traumatic for myself. And long live Bill Hicks. He is, of course, dead. Very dead. Like, 90s dead. But still very much alive, and growing.

Drift Roberts: If I had to pick one contemporary comedic hero, it would probably be Louis CK. The speed in which he generates new, solid material without compromising his artistic vision is equally inspiring as it is disheartening. Also, the honesty he brings to the stage is something I strive toward as well. The more intimately personal one talks about their life I think the more deeply relatable other people find it. When you’re blatantly trying to appeal to everybody I feel you’re spreading yourself way too thin and people pick up on that.

Kyle Scanlan: My comedy hero is defiantly Larry The Cable Guy. The struggles he went through growing up in Nebraska while attending a private school are unheard of. He had to move to the South and pretend to be a hillbilly just so people would give him 25 million dollars a year to be moderately funny. That’s a struggle. Living in the South? No thanks.

Mikel Matthews (right): At the risk of sounding stereotypical, I’m a huge Bill Hicks fan, but I’m gaining a huge appreciation for the long form work that Mike Birbiglia does.

 

Smile Politely: What was the roughest show you ever played? How come?

Andrew Voris: It was this variety show. The gig was a kind offer, and the show was popular for what it was, but just totally not my scene — very poppy and mainstream. The audience was there to hear hit songs, see some tits and ass, and laugh at someone talking about how his penis was a puppet. That kind of thing. I bombed (and I would use all caps for that if I didn’t think such a thing was overused in emails by business people who can’t write). And, clearly, by asking the “worst gig” question, you’re looking for a grinningly jaded response. So, here: I was not so much pissed about bombing as I was about jumping on a gig and putting myself in an environment that was more of what I make fun of, and really in no way who and what I am trying to connect with. I might not be good enough to tell about it the right way. I’ll just say that after my mostly ignored set in front of a packed room, a super cool guy in eye liner, wearing a designer wallet “chain”-who had been singing 3 Doors Down covers earlier in the show-walked over to tell me how I needed to do my comedy. He was expert, he said, because he had been playing Vegas the last nine years. He was intense the way Bud Light with Lime is intense, and I knew I had mad a series of poor decisions to now be in his company. All the while some chick who claimed to be associated with Lady GaGa was on stage dressed like a post-modern peacock and singing “Living On a Prayer.” It was one of those times you wish you could punch, vomit and leave all at the same time. I just drank and left. Dane Cook would have killed. Maybe Louis C.K. would have, too. I don’t know. Talk to me in a couple years after I do more shows in Dixie. I bet my stories get better. PS-I shouldn’t put eyeliner in such a bad context. I actually used quite a bit when I was New Power Generation-era Prince for Halloween last year. No designer wallet chain, though. Just lusty cries, high heels and references to “The Watchtower.”

Drift Roberts: Probably the roughest show I’ve ever played was at a biker festival in Peoria, IL in September 2009. There were several basic, incontrovertible problems with it, namely that it was a biker festival, outdoors, during the day, I was opening for the Little River Band, there was a band setting up behind me the entire time, our material had to be G-rated, there were kids present — as well as their parents yelling to hear dick jokes, and I had to do fifteen minutes when I was only six months into comedy and had maybe five minutes of barely passable stuff, and hardly anything after I censored myself. I think we’re up to ten problems now. After those few minutes were up I stood awkwardly and mostly silently on the plywood stage until my fifteen were up, occasionally taking part in an impromptu Q&A with the crowd. You might say that I was really the lonesome loser that day.

Mikel Matthews: I had someone try to get me fired because she was offended by some of my set.  When she talked to my boss, she claimed I told jokes actually told by Rich Castle, who I now think I should try to get fired.

Kyle Scanlan: 2 shows come to mind:

  • Prior to a show, the promoter met with me and told me that “Kyle Scanlan” was not a good comedian name, and that he was going to change my stage name. I laughed and thought nothing of it. Then after walking a mile in the rain and in the wrong direction to the venue. I show up soaked and he immediately tells me “you don’t look funny” and that I “look like a gay”. He then walked me to the window of the venue where you could see the river and told me “if you don’t kill this fucking show, I’m gonna drowned you in that fucking river. They gonna find you with alligator bites.” I didn’t “fucking kill the show”, but the next day there was a newspaper article in Missouri which talked about my show, but only mentioned me by “Cal the Comedian”. He actually did me a favor not putting my name on that. This happened two weeks ago.
  • I did a music open mic once, but did stand up. The entire time I was on stage a man was yelling “MAKE ME LAUGH, CLOWN!”, while a woman flipped me off in the front row. After that, I never let me parents come to my shows again.

Here’s an in-progress documentary on Kyle:

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