While I was growing up, my dad and I didn’t have the greatest relationship. My parents divorced when I was eight years old, and my father, who had been notably absent and absorbed in his own pursuits the first eight years of my life, was now forced by court custody order to spend every other weekend with me and my little sister.
He spent those endless weekends drinking and chain smoking while we watched the videos he had rented for us. We had some good times, of course, but there was a sense that we were all just trying to make it through these short periods of time so that we could get back to our normal lives. But my story probably isn’t much different than yours; everyone has a dysfunctional family in one way or another. As I have become an adult, my dad and I have made peace with each other and we are attempting to be better friends, but we still aren’t close.
I was recently talking with my friend who has a similar relationship with her father, and she was telling me about the intense loneliness that she felt when she observed a man interacting with his ten year old daughter at Cafe Kopi. The girl was describing her friends and schoolwork to her dad over breakfast. There was nothing particularly striking about the conversation, other than that the man listened attentively and lovingly to his daughter. “It was just so sweet,” she sighed, “my dad has never listened to me like that. I had a total dad-crush on him.”
Ah yes, the dad crush. Urban Dictionary defines the dad crush as “When one feels affection, admiration, or adoration for a man in a fatherly way, similar to man crush. A non-sexual attraction, usually based on a degree of veneration.”
My first major dad crush was David Letterman (left). In high school, I would stay up late to watch his show, and at one point, I even wrote a paper about how I wished he was my dad. The paper has since been lost to obscurity, but I imagine it said something about how intelligent and quick-witted he was, and that if he were my dad, we would have had fun cracking jokes at each other and being silly.
In my early 20s, I developed a fondness for This Old House and the New Yankee Workshop. Norm Abram (right), the carpenter, always struck me as the perfect dad. He seemed calm and unshakable, able to fix or create anything, and delightfully humble in his flannel shirts and suspenders. If he were my dad, I thought, he would have built a treehouse for me when I was a kid. Aww.
Then, a few months ago, along came the biggest dad crush of them all. I am addicted to the show Top Chef. Don’t ask me why; I’m a vegetarian. Over the summer, Bravo ran the Top Chef Masters competition. This was even more enjoyable than the regular Top Chef seasons because the competitors, who are already successful chefs with their own restaurants, were so friendly to each other. The standout was Rick Bayless, the creator of the Frontera Grill and Topolobampo, both of which are located in Chicago. All throughout the contest, Rick was goofy, engaging, and encouraging to the other players. When he won a challenge by making a vegan gluten-free meal for Zooey Deschanel, he won my heart. Later, I discovered that he had a long-running TV series called Mexico: One Plate at a Time, in which he introduces viewers to the indigenous foods from different regions of Mexico.
He also co-wrote a cookbook with his daughter called Rick and Lanie’s Excellent Kitchen Adventures, which is all about their travels around the world together, and the recipes they created together as a result. OK, for those of you not keeping track: he’s passionate about his work, a world traveler, makes great food, and has already proven himself to be an awesome dad. What more could you want?
Last Thursday, the University Residence Halls hosted the Chef’s Challenge, and Mr. Rick Bayless made the trip down from Chicago to be a guest judge. I seized my opportunity to meet The Ultimate Dad and ask him a few questions in the name of Smile Politely. I was slightly worried that I might be disappointed, but he was even more kind and gracious than I ever expected. He had a great sense of humor about the whole thing:
Special thanks to Heather Dillon, who held the camera, and my hand.
Ed. note: We know the audio isn’t good on the video, so here’s a transcript. We’ll hopefully get subtitles on there soon.
Gillian: It has a really good microphone.
Rick: It does?
Gillian: Smile Politely.
Rick: Smile Politely?
Gillian: Give us your best polite smile. I’m Gillian Gabriel, here with Top Chef Master Rick Bayless and owner of Topolobampo and Frontera Grill in Chicago. Now, I haven’t actually tasted your food…
Rick: Now that’s a travesty.
Gillian: I’ve tasted your salsa, the chipotle?
Rick: That’s a good one.
Gillian: Available at Meijer. Now, I have to tell you, I have a complete Dad Crush on you… I hope that doesn’t make you feel weird.
Rick: I don’t know if I should just crawl under the table, or…
Gillian: You’re the Top Chef Master champ. How has your life changed, if at all?
Rick: I’m getting more sleep now, because during that competition, we hardly ever got to sleep. I’m less stressed out that I was during that competition. I have a pretty full live, so all I can say is that it was a real honor to compete in that. As we sat in the green room, we got to pack our knives and go back to our really successful lives, because no one was going to be in that competition that wasn’t already a very, very well known chef, with their own product lines and things like that. We weren’t competing for money, we were competing for charity money. We’re at stages in our lives where we really don’t get to cook that intensely, finishing a dish and presenting it, that was really quite a challenge.
Gillian: I enjoyed watching it. I’m a vegetarian, but…
This is where we were interrupted. Smile Politely gets no respect.
Gillian: I love Top Chef, and the Masters season was my favorite to watch because everyone was so nice to each other. It wasn’t, like, backstabbing.
Rick: That was very much the case. The producers were just flabbergasted, because they were used to working with young chefs who weren’t well-known, and they’d be clawing and throwing each other under the bus to get ahead. When you’ve found people who’ve risen to the top, you’ve risen to the top because you know how to deal with people, you know how to prepare your team, it doesn’t happen that you get to the top without those kinds of characteristics. It was no question. Everybody really wanted to see everybody do well, so nobody would come in and turn the knob up on the burner.
Gillian: That’s great. So, you go to work and you cook. Do you like to cook at home still?
Rick: I cook at home all the time. I absolutely love to cook at home. Every weekend, my restaurants are open five days a week, so on Sunday and Monday when my restaurants are closed, I always cook Sunday brunch, and I cook Monday night dinner at home, because I just love to cook. During the week, I cook breakfasts.
Gillian: Do you like to listen to music while you cook?
Rick: In restaurant kitchens, there’s no music allowed because there’s too much activity. You really have to concentrate, and there’s a lot of people in a small space, and lots of sharp knives. I love to listen to music, though. I have a very eclectic taste in music; I listen to everything from world music to African music, I listen to old stuff, rhythm and blues, I get into everything. There’s hardly any music I don’t like.
Gillian: OK, one final question: since I like to imagine you as my dad sometimes, let’s say I’ve had a really bad day, and I come home to visit you – and, I’m a vegetarian, remember – what would you cook me?
Rick: Would you want something sweet, would that make you feel better?
Gillian: Like, a meal.
Rick: Like a real meal. Well, I would go with chilaquiles, because chilaquiles, you take tortillas and simmer them in salsa, like some of that salsa that you love, and you put some vegetables in there. I always like to take some spinach leaves in there, and then on the top I like to put some sour cream and crumble some cheese on there. It’s really delicious and it’s also one of the more comforting things that I always turn to.
Gillian: Sounds really good. Well, thank you so much Rick Bayless, it was really nice to meet you. Can I have a hug?
Rick: Absolutely.
Gillian: Well, good luck judging the competition.