Once upon a happy hour, a group of pals and I discussed our first impressions of Champaign-Urbana as transplants to the twin cities. One friend oh-so-casually mentioned, “The first thing I do when I move to any new town is check out the adult stores. It really gives you an idea about what kind place you’re dealing with.” Silly me, I’ve lived here almost two years and haven’t been to any of them. So what kind of place is CU, exactly, and what do our adult stores say about us? In order to see how some newish-to-town folks would rate our most private of businesses, I created an assignment. My childhood friends, Sam and Stella, moved to CU about a year ago and recently became engaged. As an engagement gift, I threw a few dollars their way and told them to visit each of the three adult stores in town and rate them. For shits and giggles, they wrote haikus too!
Illini Video Arcade (33 East Springfield Ave., Champaign)
Emma Reaux: What time of day did you go?
Sam and Stella: Afternoon.
ER: Who greeted you and how?
S&S: A female in her 40s said hello and offered to help.
ER: What did you think about the store immediately upon entering?
S&S: The place was clean and friendly.
ER: What was the atmosphere like? How was the variety of toys, movies, etc?
S&S: It was clean, organized, well lit. They had a huge selection of everything!
ER: What kind of toys, movies or goodies were you looking for?
S&S: Big floppy dildos!
ER: Do the items in the store appeal more to men or women? Straight folks, gay, lesbian?
S&S: Both men and women. There wasn’t anything specifically gay/lesbian we noticed, but toys are for everyone!
ER: Did you ask the woman who was working any questions? How did she answer them?
S&S: Yes, we asked about stimulating oils. She was very knowledgeable, comfortable, and even gave us her personal preference!
ER: Were there other people in the store? How crowded was it?
S&S: There wasn’t anyone in the store, but we saw two guys walk into video booths.
ER: Did you buy anything?
S&S: Hell yeah! Tingling lube.
ER: Newly engaged, looking for big floppy dildos, and that’s all you got? How vanilla of you!
S&S: Hey, we had two more stores to go to!
ER: How comfortable were you overall during your visit? Why?
S&S: We were fine at first, but began feeling a little “dirty” after 10 minutes or so. It was the first time we’d seen people going into video booths. But overall it was nicer than we initially expected.
ER: Would you recommend this store to a friend?
S&S: Sure would! Why the hell haven’t you gone yet?
ER: That’s what I’ve got you two for! Now let’s hear the haiku.
S&S: Dildos and strap-ons
Condoms, lubes, and so much more
DVDs galore!
Holiday Theater and Adult Video Arcade (213 South Neil St., Champaign)
ER: What time of day did you go?
S&S: Evening.
ER: Who greeted you and how?
S&S: An older male. He greeted us and told us about prices.
ER: How did you feel immediately upon entering the store? How was the atmosphere?
S&S: Dim lighting, smoky, dirty. Overall it felt really creepy.
ER: What were you looking for?
S&S: Movies. It was easy to find them, they were everywhere. There were only a few toys, and those were under a glass case.
ER: Do the items in the store appeal more to men or women?
S&S: Definitely men.
ER: Did you interact with the employee(s)?
S&S: Yes, he told us about prices. $3 for an arcade token, $6 for the theatre downstairs.
ER: Did you try out the arcade or theater?
S&S: No, did you?
ER: Unfortunately no, but I wanted to!
ER: Did the employee seem comfortable talking to you?
S&S: Yeah, but he looked surprised that we were there!
ER: Were there other people in the store? How crowded was it?
S&S: There was just one other guy. It seemed pretty private.
ER: How comfortable were you overall during your visit? Why?
S&S: We weren’t very comfortable at all. It didn’t seem like a welcoming place for young people, especially girls.
ER: Did you buy anything?
S&S: Hell no.
ER: Haiku, go!
S&S: DVD’s 12 bucks
6 for theatre in basement
Get me out of here!
Fantasy’s (3604 N. Cunningham Ave., Urbana)
ER: What time of day did you go?
S&S: Late evening.
ER: Who greeted you and how?
S&S: No one. There was a 40 year old lady working behind counter, but she paid no attention to us and didn’t try to talk to us at all.
ER: How comfortable did you feel immediately upon entering the store? Atmosphere?
S&S: It was clean and organized, bright and well lit. The back room area was dark and looked nice and private.
ER: How was the variety of toys, movies, etc? What were you looking for?
S&S: The variety was very good, they had lots of everything. We were looking for lingerie.
ER: Do the items in the store appeal more to men or women?
S&S: Both men and women.
ER: Were there other people in the store? How crowded was it?
S&S: There was an older man and a younger man in the back room walking around.
ER: Did you buy anything?
S&S: Nope, sorry. We failed at this assignment.
ER: That’s okay, I purchased a few items from there for ya, but I’ll save them for the bach parties!
ER: How comfortable were you overall during your visit? Why?
S&S: We were pretty comfortable. It was quiet and organized. The only thing is it’s an odd location on the outskirts of town.
ER: Yeah, so it’s like you deliberately have to drive out there. You can’t really claim you just stumbled upon it. Would you recommend this store to a friend?
S&S: Yes!
ER: Haiku?
S&S: Sleezy lingerie
Slutty Halloween costumes
And not so creepy
I spent a Sunday afternoon visiting all the aforementioned stores after assigning Sam and Stella’s adult excursion. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with any of their observations, but I’m very grateful there is a variety of options for anyone interested in checking out one of the local establishments. Whether you’re in the market for toys, videos, or even some arcade action, CU has all the bases covered!
I took some extra time to chat with the staff person at each store, and all of them were very nice and helpful. Each store seems to cater to a different demographic. Illini Arcade appeals to the campus crowd with its location and assortment of “couples” toys. An employee at Fantasy’s told me they carry more lingerie for the exotic dancers employed in Urbana, but the atmosphere is similar to Illini Arcade since they are owned by the same company. Holiday seemed very male-oriented, but since I ventured in on a Sunday afternoon, I was told it’s usually a lot busier at nights and on weekends. The staff person there agreed with Sam and Stella that it’s not the most comfortable place for women, probably because they aren’t the targeted demographic. Employees at all three stores reported that they very very seldom see women using the arcades and theatres.
For anyone who might feel awkward about visiting the stores in town (like Sam and Stella), don’t worry about it. I moseyed on in there for the first time and just started asking questions. Each employee seemed very happy to actually engage in conversation with a patron. Not only did they respectfully indulge all my prying questions about the down and dirty details of working in the adult store industry, they made wonderful recommendations about toys and the like, all while making me feel very comfortable. They were so helpful, I just had to make some purchases and refer my friends! I can’t comment on the arcades or theatres—I didn’t want to make others uncomfortable by using them just to see what they are like. So, if you have reviews, please share them here!
Overall, each of the stores offers something unique, and the staff I met were knowledgeable and eager to help. There will always be different strokes for different folks, so we’re lucky we live in a town where three stores are up to the challenge of keeping everyone satisfied!