He just feels unhappy that he’s a man. [shrugs] — Chelsea, age 11
And there it is. A sex change is nothing more than the result of being unhappy about one’s born gender. Fairly simple. Or is it?
In No Dumb Questions, director Melissa Regan delves into the minds of Chelsea, Olivia, and Abby, who have just learned of their beloved uncle’s impending sex change. The girls’ emotions range from simple acceptance and excitement to sadness and discomfort. Their wisdom when faced with complex notions like gender identity is staggering, while, moments later, we see them struggle with basic concepts like “which bathroom Uncle Bill will use.” These little girls are curious. We see that right away. They want to know what will happen to the person they adore, and their questions range from, “How long would it take for you to get those hairs out of your face” to “What if you’re unhappy being a woman, too?”
Chelsea is the oldest daughter, 11 years old, and she has a lot more to swallow than the younger two girls. She is reaching puberty. Her own body is changing; her feelings are new and confusing; and she needs more time to adjust than the youngest girl, Abby. When Chelsea talks about her Uncle Bill, there’s a melancholy there. She is supportive, absolutely, but you can see in her eyes that she is afraid of losing someone she loves very deeply.
One of the more touching moments in this film comes when Chelsea’s parents describe a day in her sexual education class. The teacher had covered the basics, and someone asked about transgender or transsexual people. The teacher didn’t quite know how to respond, other than to say that those people do, in fact, exist. When Chelsea pushed the matter, her teacher said she didn’t know “why anyone would do that.” Chelsea later tells the camera that she can think of “a hundred reasons someone would want to do that.” It’s astonishing that, at such a self-conscious age, this young girl stands out among her peers and says exactly what is on her mind. What an incredible monument to her parents’ child-rearing!
Olivia, age 9, is very bright. She wants to be okay with this change, but she clearly isn’t sure what it will mean to her relationship with her uncle. Once Aunt Barbara appears, Olivia isn’t sure she’ll “be asking him to play … or anything.” She says, “He might be changed a lot, like, what he does and what he eats and what he drinks.” Now, this is a perfectly normal response for a little girl to have, but what struck me was how misguided that line of thinking is. The idea that a person’s food preferences are dictated by gender is just, well, silly. It’s a construct of our gender-obsessed culture. (Real men like beer, not wine. Women should eat salad, not steak.) To Olivia, Uncle Bill changing into Aunt Barbara will make a difference, and not just to which dressing room he now walks into.
Abby, who is 6 years old, is my favorite. She is so accepting and so excited for this new(ish) person in her life. She can’t wait to paint her nails with Aunt Barbara and thinks, when they finally meet, she’ll be “jumping up, excited.” Abby has a very firm and simple grasp on the situation: “He was supposed to be born as a woman. He has a man’s body, but he’s a woman.” She doesn’t get bogged down with a lot of the ins and outs of why or how. She just wants everyone to be happy, and she wants to play Barbies.
When the time comes to meet Aunt Barbara, there are various responses. They’re such good souls that you just know they’ll embrace this change with the humor and grace and curiosity they’ve shown throughout. The girls are nervous, but they don’t want to be rude or hurt Barbara’s feelings. I won’t ruin the outcome of their meeting because it’s really the climax of the film.
In the end, the sisters are asked if they’ll “love Aunt Barbara forever.” They answer with a resounding, “Yeah! ‘Cause she’s the same person.” And Olivia adds, “On the inside.”
No Dumb Questions, presented by Epiphany Productions, was an award-winner at the Sundance Film Festival. You can catch this wonderful short film tonight at the UP Center’s Reel It UP Film Festival 2013 at the Art Theatre in Champaign. For more information about the festival, go here.