My Goodbye to Mr. Ebert

I met Roger Ebert three times in my life. One of these encounters was at the opening gala at Ebertfest in 2011. Taking a picture with him was like meeting a genuine Father Christmas. As a writer, it was the ultimate honor to meet Mr. Ebert, but it was an incredible gift that I was fortunate to share a love of my favorite movie, Brick from director Rian Johnson. I met him because he was in the hallway of the University of Illinois President’s House. By this time, Ebert was only able to smile and give me the thumbs up about my choice as a favorite film. It was enough for me.

In 2012, I started a friendship with film critic Ignatiy Vishnevetsky, who was one of the hosts of Ebert Presents: At the Movies. He was kind enough to pass along to Mr. Ebert an email I had written; in it, I expressed my admiration for his body of work and personality. Here’s an excerpt:

In my earlier years I wasn’t able to be as active and independent as I am now, and movies helped me to escape to new places and imagine the world as a place full of possibility. I am inquiring specifically to you because you are the critic I admire most. I want to be able to write with the same conversational tone that you seem to exude.

I am writing to you, in short, to see if there is any possibility of me interning with you to further learn what it means to analyze, critique, and examine film. I was also wondering whether you could mentor me. I ask this because I truly love every aspect of film right down to sound editing, and there are very few people within the community that share that passion in the same way I do. I consider films to be part of my history, whether it be for the purpose of viewing a film for pure escapist purposes or to learn and understand something unknown to me. If it is not possible for you to mentor me or provide me with an internship, are there any grants available that would help me become a full-time critic? I understand that what I am asking of you is considerable, but I have a passion for film, and critiquing gives me the ability to have a voice in a world where people who are disabled have been relegated to clichés and stereotypes. Thank you for letting me have a voice and considering me for any opportunity you may offer.

The surprise for me was that, at my lowest point professionally and personally, having no solid employment prospects and having lost many friends who moved to new places, Ebert wrote back. He took the time to write a 24-year-old film critic and cinephile. The magical thing is that the email came right at midnight between New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Here’s the bit that moved me most:

Dear Chike,

Ignatity passed along your message. I looked at your blog and admired your writing and criticism.

Unfortunately, there is no role in my life for an intern. I see a movie and write a review. There is no way anyone can help me do either. Nor can I share much about movie criticism, except by the example of my reviews. As I no longer have the power of speech, complex conversation of any duration is not easy or satisfactory.

Even when I could speak, I never had an intern. I don’t think it’s the kind of job that lends itself to internship. Blogging and reviewing on the net are the best form of internship.

It may be there’s a member of the Chicago Film Critics’ Association who could use an intern. Ignatiy might know someone.

I identify with your comments about disability as it relates to writing.

The fact that he admired my work and writing with a disability made my year. The heart of Roger Ebert was and continues to be immeasurable. Even when he may have hated a filmmaker’s work, he never passed on that anger to the filmmaker. He’s one of the people who helped modernize the conversation on film. He and Gene Siskel made that conversation the national conversation. His words were as poetic as (some of) the movies he reviewed. I am thankful for him as a person and grateful for his inspiration as a writer. Without him I would not be reviewing for SP. The time that he gave the world is something we should all treasure as a gift to literature and film as an art form. We saw him at the movies and he made us better for doing so.