Midwinter football variety

NFL SNIPPETS

• A lot of people have been complaining about Favre’s late in the 4th TD last Sunday and that he was running up the score and shouldn’t have even been in the game. Maybe they didn’t want to run the ball since Peterson has been known to fumble (the most of any RB) or maybe the defense had all his other options covered and it was his only option.Last and most likely is that Favre heard me yelling through the TV to “light those boy touchers up!”
• How can you be a Cowboys fan? I guess if you live in Texas and haven’t succumbed to the idea of offing yourself or are able to pull up your pants and get out from behind the cow then maybe I can see it. Seriously though, rooting for the Cowboys is like doing meth and being a Yankees fan; you just don’t do it.
• How bad do I feel for Nate Kaeding (right)? Not one bit. He made 69 straight from inside the 40 going into the game and missed two in the game, including another from 57 yards. Bad Dog! The guy is 152 out of 170 in the regular season but is 8 of 15 in the playoffs (when it counts). Sounds like someone has a case of the Tony-Romo-itis (means he chokes).

• Kurt Warner will retire this offseason, or at least he should. You had a good run.
• I have also been accused of not showing the Jets any respect. Well I don’t like to stray from the norm, so they won’t be getting any this week either.
• Joe Flacco is a good QB and with that being said, he sucked something fierce in the Indy game. Couldn’t make a play to save his life.
• LT may be done in San Diego, but he’s not done in football. Any team would be lucky to have him as a second back.

THIS WEEKEND’S GAMES

Jets-Colts: The Jets’ defense is one of the best of all time, no one can deny them that. The problem they will have is that Peyton has the ability to call every play from the line. The Jets D has yet to face that this season. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Manning run a no-huddle and call 75% of the plays from the line.

Vikings-Saints: A week after scoring 50+ points the Saints held the Cardinals offense to just 14. The Vikings are stacked at almost every position and seem to pull touchdowns out of thin air. The Saints crowd should stifle Favre’s ability to call audibles but considering he doesn’t do much of that it shouldn’t be a factor. This is going to be a really hard game to call. Two of the best QB’s, the best offenses in the league, defenses that hold their own, it should be an amazing game to watch.

SUPER BOWL MATCHUPS

Saints-Jets: This one ranks at the bottom of the excit-o-meter being as how there just isn’t that much story behind it. They played each other in Week 4 and the Saints won by 2 TD’s.

Colts-Vikings: This one would be fun for the fact that it’s a matter of whom you hate more; the Colts as a whole or Brett Favre as an individual? One cannot deny the fact that Peyton is the best pre-snap QB there is with all his audibles and line changes, but Brett Favre is the best post-snap QB with all his redneck magic he seems to have. There would be so many TD’s that the final score would look like a basketball game……ok, maybe a girl’s basketball game.

Saints-Colts: In a matchup of the top two QB’s this season it would also be another high scoring affair. Personally I’m tired of hearing from wholesome Peyton. And on the other side, and don’t get me wrong I like them, the Saints are still riding the coattails of Katrina and the whole “spirit of overcoming adversity.” Seriously? Katrina was sooooo five years ago.

Jets-Vikings: This is what would be the coup de gras. Last season the Jets left him to be forsaken and they wanted nothing to do with him. The Jets would basically represent everyone in America that hates him or is tired of hearing about him and his ego trips that are the offseason. On the flip side this old-timer showed up at the Vikings third preseason game and basically asked to play. Since then he’s had his best season as a player and shut up any doubters (not me, I knew this dude was solid).

What’s best for the NFL is either matchup that has Favre in it; love him or hate him, you know you would watch. The one with the Colts would most likely get the most viewers since for some god-awful reason, everyone loves the Colts. Personally I think the Jets-Vikings matchup would be the most fun. The Jets and their “no chance in hell” defense against Brett “I pull TD’s out of my ass” Favre: what’s not to love? And in the event he were to win the ring, I think he would be done for good. If he were to lose, well, the Vikings have him under contract for one more year…

In other Super Bowl news, Tim Tebow and his Mom shot a commercial that will air during the Super Bowl for “Focus on the Family” where they will share a personal story that will center on morals and the theme “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.” There are so many things that are wrong with this that I made a list.

When I say University of Florida what do you think of? Ya, me too. Those two blondes and that brunette that they always show every Gator game. You know, the ones wearing the skirts so short and tops so tight that you wonder where they hide their self-respect (hint hint: they don’t have any). Well here’s a little secret, all the girls at that school look like that. It’s part of their application process. So either he is actually all morally high, and should have his man card revoked, or he is pulling something of Tiger Woods proportion, which is most likely.

NBA

It doesn’t get a lot of coverage here, and with good reason, but something important is going on. The New Jersey Nets are 3-37 and on their way to the worst season in NBA history. You ready? Because I just got another grand idea to help sports. To add some excitement and interest to teams who suck (the Nets), the league should punish teams that do that bad. How? Whichever team has the worst record at the end of the season has to spend the next season traveling with the Harlem Globetrotters. I’m dead serious. You know players wouldn’t want to suffer that embarrassment and might actually put forth some effort.

NOT A SPORT

This week I will continue my look at things that are widely called sports, but aren’t.

• Gymnastics
• Ping Pong
• Magic: The Gathering
• Rowing
• Yacht Racing
• Tiger Woods

SO I’m watching the Illini game (Go Illini) and the ticker on the bottom of the screen just had a message that Tiger Woods is reportedly in a Missouri clinic for sex addiction. Is this a real thing? Well according to Wikipedia it actually is….sort of. To paraphrase, the symptoms include: spending an inordinate amount of time trying to obtain sex, failure to reduce impulses to engage in sex, preoccupation with sex, and the need to increase the frequency and intensity of sex.

By those standards I bet half the people you know have been at one time or currently are sex addicts, we will call that half “Men.” Come on, that is the description of every male between the ages of 15 and 40. He doesn’t have a sex addiction, he has a pair of balls. It even says that sex addiction is not an officially recognized disorder/addiction. Basically it sounds like a cop-out for a cheating man.

ILL-INI

They opened and finished strong against a highly-ranked Michigan St. and fought a hard battle with Purdue. They are improving. They will get better.

SPORTSBOOK

3-1 last week and looking to go perfect this weekend

COLTS over Jets: Manning’s play-calling from the line will overcome the defense. That’s not to say the Jets D will get trampled on though: take the Under 39.

Vikings over SAINTS: I have no real validation for this pick, I just feel good about it. Also take the Under 52.5.

Illini over NORTHWESTERN: Woot Woot, time to get back on track.

Join me next week when we have a big look at the upcoming UFC event and other news in the sport and also further coverage of the Playoffs. Heck, maybe we’ll finally get to some Olympic coverage.

Also I am looking for a new name for this weekly article. I’m thing Long and Deep, or A Few Inches are a Big thing. If you have any ideas feel free to voice them.