The Illinois football season starts Saturday. Here, according to SP’s team of experts, is what is going to happen.
Matthew Campbell: “Hack” writer and “musician” in the band Common Loon
Two new coordinators + two new systems + one supposedly hands-off “CEO” + one redshirt freshman quarterback + one starting wideout-cum-backup quarterback + four talented tailbacks + one healthy Martez Wilson + one highly questionable defensive secondary – one starting safety – one starting corner who also happens to be among the three or four best players on the entire squad + one replacement corner who just last week was the third-string tailback + one history of shaky special teams play + one difficult season opener + one extremely difficult conference opener = several interesting story lines = one maddeningly inconsistent season =
one 4–8 record
Joel Gillespie: SP.com co-editor-in-Chief-Illiniwek-not-really; engineers soybeans to hurt people and help himself.
Fighting Illini Football Drinking Game: “hot seat”: take a drink
Illini defense gives up a play of 20+ yards: take a drink
“another great recruiting class”: take a drink
“new coordinators”: take a drink
Illini offense goes three and out: take a drink
“injury-riddled secondary”: take a drink
Sideline shot of pensive Zook: take a drink
Opposition scores a touchdown: shot
Chances are you’ll only have to endure the first quarter.
Record: 3–9
John Johnson: Illini beat reporter for SP.com; likely brimming with false positivity
Illinois opens its 121st season of varsity football Saturday against Missouri. In the thirteenth decade of Illini football underdog, dark horse, and upset minded will have to be the key. With our defensive secondary running out of players, much like the 1980’s if we can’t stop you we will out score you. It’s time to put the FIGHT back in Fighting Illini. I believe this football squad can do this, and I predict an Illini victory in a squeaker.
Record: 7–5 (first bowl appearance since 2007)
T. McDade: still anonymous, even to those who know him… or is it a woman?
It’s the quarterback, stupid. Coach Zook showed a remarkable (preposterous?) loyalty to a single quarterback for a solid three years, to the detriment of almost everything else, including his coaching career. The target of this adoration — a big-hearted, tough-minded competitor, to be sure — had no business being under center for a Big Ten football team. But that era, by NCAA rule, is over. Illinois now has a quarterback who can make short, accurate passes of the sort that keep drives alive. This one small change, despite the almost weekly erosion of an already mediocre defense, will make all the difference.
Record: 7–5 (including one major upset)
Laurie McColley: Mayor of Urbana inside of his own head
The defense stinks. All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy.All work and no play make Zook a dull boy. The offense is tepid.
Record: 6–6
Seth Fine: local fee extractor of musicians, part time Joo
The Illini football team will not be very good this year. Let’s face it. Illinois isn’t a football school. They had no business playing in the Rose Bowl in 2007, and with the new divisional splits, likely will not be back for the next few decades, barring a complete collapse of most Big Ten programs. Considering the fact that their quarterback is green behind the ears, and with a secondary that’s half-charged right now, I’d say Illinois splits their pre-season and lands tied in the cellar at 1–7 in the Big Ten alongside Minnesota. Tough Break, Zooker.
Record: 3-9