For the first time since Lucas Johnson, Illinois basketball has a guy who plays dirty.
To meet Meyers Leonard on the street, you’d find him optimistic and good natured. In a dark alley, it probably wouldn’t be any different.
But on the basketball court, Meyers plays the villain.
Last year, Bill Cole said he wanted to win the Matto, modeling his role on Lucas.
But for all his effort, Bill Cole is intractably sane. To capture the Modus Lucas, you have to be mental. Meyers is mental.
In the fastest, most violent freak play in my basketball-watching experience; Meyers earned himself a Dirty Lucas. He nearly killed Tyler Griffey in the bargain.
With 8:40 left against Western Michigan (about 1:26:30 of the replay), Tyler drove the lane. That in itself is bizarre for recent Illini teams.
Meyers, channeling “Rosie” LaRose brutally hip-checked WMU forward Flenard Whitfield, knocking him sidelong across the lane.
Meyers used both hands and his body. It was intentional, dirty and lightning fast. And he got away with it.
As Whitfield sprawled forward, arms splayed; Griffey ran into him, tripped and went down hard. Tyler spent the rest of the game in the locker room, getting stitched up.
I had a great angle on this play, being about six feet from it, under the backboard. Referee Mike Sanzere was standing immediately in front of me. But somehow he awarded the foul to Whitfield. Just like the white man.
Flenard’s sanguine about it. Evidently, what’s gone around came around.
In the locker room, Tyler faced his Tybalt and Meyers his Mercutio. There were no hard feelings. But Meyers practically giggled at getting away with two major blown calls. (In the first half, he’d “saved” a ball under the same basket — with both feet out-of-bounds.)
I thought my proximity and angle maybe showed me something everyone else had missed. I was mistaken. Everyone saw it except the stripes.
Jereme Richmond, Brandon Paul and Mike Tisdale saw it.
We’re all glad no one got hurt. Illini fans should be glad — if a little nervous — to have Psycho M on the team.
ON KAZOO’S AWESOMENESS
Plenty of cheap seats went unfilled at Read Fieldhouse. You missed a great road trip, and an acrobatic Illini win.
The Flannels made it, and the Dorris brood of course. Los Berardini had a strong showing. The Davis clan included Aunt Paulette, Grandpa Tommy and “the princess” (sister) Maleana.
But many of you losers failed to heed my advice. That’s a shame, because Kalamazoo is fantastic.
Vacationing Orange Krushers might have made the short trip from the suburbs. Even a couple dozen would have overwhelmed the WMU student section, a gang of four to six dudes who call themselves “The Zoo.”
I was not joking about Kalamazoo. It’s one of the great American cities. For sports fans, there’s minor league baseball and hockey, a football stadium built into the side of a mountain, and a cool Division I basketball gym.
We dug the National Geographic photography exhibit at the Art Institute. In the basement is By The Sea (1958) a three-dimensional Pollock-style oil painting by Richard Pousette-Dart. If I’d smoked some LSD, I could’ve stared for hours.
Annie at The Civic Theatre bemused us. It’s nice to see so many fat people, and so many people who can’t sing, ignoring their respective shortcomings and longcomings.
A two-college town, Kazoo has lots of nightlife. The local parks are great, too. Its squirrels are red.
The Kalamazoo Promise guarantees in-state college tuition to all graduates of the Kalamazoo public schools. A realtor’s yard sign assured potential buyers the locus in quo qualifies. Ipso facto if you buy a college education for your kids, you get a free house.
Even the shitty neighborhoods are nice. Big houses painted in curious colors suggest a citywide program to aid in upkeep. Or maybe it’s just required that people keep up their houses. Or maybe people just want their homes and neighborhoods to look nice.
Whatever, I like it.
BELL’S PALSY
On the other hand, now that I’ve been in person, I retract my endorsement of Bell’s Eccentric Café.
The kitchen closes before the music starts. (Champaign’s Zorba’s has that problem too, and they don’t even serve Bell’s beers.)
But here’s the deal breaker: In autumn 2010, well into the 21st Century, Bell’s Eccentric Café accepts cash only.
When Larry Bell pulled his products out of Illinois, I cheered him on. Illinois’ alcohol distribution racket is ridiculous.
Not accepting credit cards makes Larry seem miserly, or stupid. There’s evidence for the former. Security cameras mind the two tills.
But it’s also just stupid. People spend more when they aren’t counting out their money. Credit counselors advise against plastic for this reason.
At BEC, employees frequently point patrons to the in-house ATM. That’s not a convenience, it’s an insult. Larry Bell doesn’t want to pay the percentage on your purchase. He wants to make the percentage.
So go to Kalamazoo, and drink Bell’s beer if you like. But choose one of the other great pubs and restaurants. There are tons downtown, whereas BEC sits on the outskirts, literally on the other side of the tracks. (I guess Larry is a cheapskate about rent and land values, too.)
I’ve moved on emotionally. I now support Illinois brewers.